Friday, January 22, 2010

Abortion and Love

Today is the anniversary of Roe. V. Wade where oddly enough the anon person who filed the petition said that she was pressured into it and doesn't actually believe in abortion.

Between all the blog posts and even tv that I watched (did anyone see the most recent episode of Private Practice?), I thought that I would post some info of my own for those who are interested. Personally, I get tired of the attacks on people who perform abortions. I'm more concerned about eradicating the need for abortion.

For example: last night's episode of Private Practice, involved a 15 year old girl announcing that she was pregnant. Her very religious mother (prayed the rosary alot during the episode) went against her own beliefs and told her daughter to get an abortion. The daughter went through a wide range of emotions from no, to yes, and then again back to no as she faced this moral dilemma head on. I wasn't angry with the doctor who had agreed to the abortion. I was mad at the mom for going against her own beliefs and pressuring her already confused daughter into making a horrific "mistake." And this is why I think we should focus on the people who have to make these decisions not on the doctors.

There was a great article in Busted Halo called Pro-life or Pro-Active? What I enjoyed most about the article was it's focus on being supportive of those women who are most prone to getting an abortion. Here are some of the thoughts that the sister said that really struck me.

"The only message I was given growing up was that if I ever came home pregnant before I was married, I would be kicked out of the house. I have no idea what I would have done had I ever found myself in that situation. But I thank God every day that I did not have to confront that nightmare."

"Googling “The Catholic Church and abortion” yields one site after another proclaiming the Church’s doctrine: that abortion is a “grave offense” and that anyone who procures an abortion is automatically excommunicated. One priest has gone so far as to publish that a confessor — when counseling a woman who confesses the sin of abortion — must make it clear to her that she bears full moral responsibility for the abortion. How will this encourage a woman contemplating abortion to come to us for help — when all she’s heard is condemnation?"

"So my question is: How can we not get directly involved in this issue? Do we have conversations with girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, etc., regarding the possibility that, sometime in their life, they may be in a situation where they might consider having an abortion? Have we told our friends that we will support them, help them out, etc., so that they know have a friend to turn to should they be pressured from other significant people in their lives?"

"But what would happen if the 51% of Americans who have now identified themselves as pro-life decide to become pro-active in the lives of the actual women they know who are pregnant and need help? What would happen if every parish bulletin listed the contact person for any woman who was pregnant and scared (and if that person were visible within the church community)? What if our focus changed from a debate about the constitutionality of abortion — which requires very little personal sacrifice on our part — to directly helping the women who may potentially have an abortion? What would happen if all of us were to recognize that we too may bear responsibility for someone who has chosen to have an abortion because all that a woman heard from us was our view about abortion itself and not about the woman caught in the middle? How will we get involved?"

And this has led me to say to the online community, if you are thinking about an abortion or have found out that you are pregnant are scared and confused, please say something!!!! Even if it is anonmously. I will find a pregnancy center in your town or a good ob who can help you out. You need not make a decision that drastically by yourself and you need not feel that you are alone. I'm not some angry crazy person that will condemn you.

In fact just the opposite, I had a friend in college who went through all the condemnation and stares and whispers to carry her child to full term because she was unwed. After hearing how people were treating her, I was so upset. That is the very reason why people contemplate abortion because they are afraid of being looked down upon and being called whores. So another friend and I plotted (in a good way) and threw her a baby shower. And many people participated. We told her that it was an end of the semester party and totally surprised her. And as I explained to her, not everyone hates you or thinks you're a bad person. We love you and support you. And that is how it should be at every church, school, etc. Condemn the act of abortion; not the person. Condemn the act of premartial sex; not the person.

So maybe I should take the next step and offer myself as a contact person at my own church. That way if anyone needs help and feels more comfortable talking to a complete stranger who won't judge them, then I can be there for them. And perhaps we should all think about doing that. I have a friend who volunteers at a pregnancy crisis center. That's another route to go too.

Let's not go after the doctors and nurses who use abortion as a business transaction. Let's take away their business (supply and demand anyone?) and take back our scared mothers.

1 comment:

  1. Great post.

    I don't like the whole attacking dr's thing either... Not only is it wrong, but every time it happens it makes the rest of us who are pro-life look like we're crazy.

    That was a very sweet thing you did in college. I had a friend that was in a similar situation, only very few of us knew. She wanted an abortion (the school we were at would kick her out for getting pg) and we worked pretty hard to convince her not too... in nice ways of course. In the end it was a moot point, she refused to take care of herself and the baby passed. The whole thing was pretty traumatizing all the way around. I'll never forget that hospital trip.

    Now I'm all teary eyed...


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