Thursday, September 16, 2010

Unconventional

I was thinking about doing another heavy post, but last night I thought of a light and fluffy one. But first an update: HB weighs 15 lbs 10 oz. Praise to God!! I dread the scale every week. After not gaining an ounce, I beefed up his BF feedings, added back in the cereal, and started to make sure he ate more foods that were higher in calories. I took the cereal out because he gets constipated, but I've been making plums and that's helped so he's eating more cereal again. He probably needed the iron. I need to make an appointment with the new pedi soon. I sent the paper work to transfer his medical records but it was over labor day and thought that it might take a while.

Okay. So the title is unconventional. I'm unconventional but if you've been keeping up, you already know that. This story is about the unconventional way I met Hubby and how I proposed to him.

I met Hubby on a speed date.

But you need back story. Hubby's first. Hubby had been engaged before to a girl who was pseudo- committed to him. In other words, she liked being engaged to him, but she wasn't willing to move away from her family. She lived on the East Coast and Hubby's family is from Missouri. Plus Hubby was moving out West and she wasn't willing to move out there either. After deciding that she wasn't going to really commit among the other lies, he broke off the engagement and started dating a series of duds. Women who were not marriage material and certainly not into family as much as Hubby is. So here he was out West, going to the U, and single. His friend was a member of the Graduate and Professional Student Counsel (GPSC for short). The GPSC decided to for fun have a speed date held for the Graduate Students on campus. 1st one ever, but she was worried that it would lack men so she asked Hubby to go and he agreed.

Now my story. I myself had been engaged before. It's a long story, and not really relevant at the moment. After that fiasco, I ended up dating a bunch of guys seriously who were not seriously interested in commitment or marriage. Two months before the speed dating event, I had been dating another guy for a year. We'll call him Carlo. Carlo was seven years older than I and we loved each other. Like really did. After a year of dating, I went out to eat with him one evening and started asking him or bringing up the future. His friends at work had been saying the same things to him and I guess it really scared him. Abruptly without any warning, he simply broke up with me. I was utterly devastated and heart broken. I decided that it was ridiculous to keep getting involved in relationships, fall in love, and end up having them unwilling to commit. He never gave me a reason for not committing. I decided that maybe it was time for me to enjoy being single and to go out and date different people. The school newspaper mentioned the event so I went.

Did I fall in love with Hubby the moment he sat down? Nope. My first impression of him was that he was this nerdy, scrawny guy. But he said that he studied rocks from space and that intrigued me. Apparently, he could talk and have a decent conversation so going out on a few dates would be fun. I wrote down his number (they give you numbers on speed dates but not your phone number). He saw me write down his and so he wrote down mine. I ended up with three matches (where both people write down each others numbers). Hubby just had me.

Hubby contacted me through e-mail and our first official date was at a coffee shop. Did my impressions get better? Actually, they got worse. I love Hubby to death but when he anticipates something and gets real excited about it he fidgets and twitches. He does this when he plays games a lot. He doesn't do this normally, but at the time that's all he did for weeks on end. The twitching, in my early impressions, were at best because of nerves and at worse I was going on dates with a guy who had Turrets. So, no, I really didn't think that we were going anywhere.

But around the third date, I got the vibe that he wasn't interested in me and I got a little upset. Here was this nerdy, scrawny guy who never wore anything nice (Hubby hates collared shirts. It's taken a couple years to convince him that they look nice on him) who had Turrets about to discard me? Oh, hell naw! I decided to step things up a notch and went all out in the looks department. And that's when things got better in my book.

Hubby remembers the next date being better. We went to our second movie date and we both really enjoyed it. He says that's when he realized that we might be going somewhere.

In November (about 8 months later), I decided to propose to him. I was going to meet his family over Thanksgiving and decided to be unconventional and ask him mom for permission. That was an awkward moment because I had a weekend to do it in and I wanted her to get to know me first. Then I had to try and catch her alone without making it obvious what I was up to. So I ended up waiting one early morning for her to come out of the bathroom and asked her while she was in her pjs. Sorry, MIL :D. She was ecstatic to say the least.

In December, I went and bought his now wedding ring and put it in a box with other saved momentos. Movie ticket stubs, exchanged e-mails, etc. In the ring box, I put a slip of paper that read "Will you marry me?" I made him dinner (his mom called during it and I slyly told him to call her back). Then I gave him the box. He opened the ring box, but the paper slipped out and I had to retrieve it. So much for being suave. He did make me get down on my knee. I thought it was nutty and still do to this day. I wouldn't make a guy do that. But whatever, I didn't argue, I just proposed.

Six months later, we married in our unconventional simple ceremony. But that's another story.

Needless to say, the things I liked about Hubby still ring true. We talk all the time about many different subjects. He's very family oriented. We're the most important people in his life. I trust him completely. And he lets me be my unconventional self. I love Hubby. He's awesome. I mean I have to love someone who deals with me everyday and still smiles about it.

And please single ladies, I did not tell the story to make you gush or think wonderful thoughts. I would say that it took time to get to know Hubby and I really wasn't into him at first. Marriage is hard work and that too took a long time to work the kinks out. I wouldn't say that this is a love story made for sappy Romance novels. On the contrary, it's a little unconventional.

6 comments:

  1. Awww that's sweet!

    I met mine at Church. He came up and hit on me... which is funny now because I know that he'd never done it before (nor since). The big joke is because he saw a girl there he's not related too. Once we heard each others ages we put each other in the just friends category... I'm 5 years older. He got back with his ex and we became friends... Then she crushed him. In the months after that we got closer and finally talked about dating, decided we were. 9 months later we were engaged lol.

    Completely agree that its important to get to know each other first. Our engagement ended up not as long as planned and we both still... we don't regret it, but we could have used that time.

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  2. The twitchiness was mostly stress induced. I had my Oral Exam coming up in about 5 weeks, and if I didn't pass I wouldn't be allowed to continue my PhD work(this was my second attempt, you don't get a third).

    She didn't talk much about what I thought of her. As she said impressions at the speed date weren't very high for either of us. Prior to our first date, I googled her. All I really found was a bunch of angry "Letters to the Editor" to various newspapers. They gave me the impression she was a man-hating feminist. I figured the first date would be more for entertainment than an actual date. It ended up being better than I expected, but still nothing special.

    When she decided to "go all out in the looks department" that just gave me the impression she was hot for me. My thought process was, "She's decent to be around, and she wants to make out with me, so why not?"

    After awhile I started realizing we had a lot in common (I still can't think of anything of importance that we butt heads on), and things progressed from there. We do have our disagreements, but they're definitely manageable. In the end, I couple better with her than any other girl I've met.

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  3. That's not why I went out in the looks department. I did that because I wanted you to know what you were going to be missing if you dumped me. It was not to "make out." But whatever Hubby. You interpreted it whatever way you thought at the time.

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  4. Yeah, yeah, yeah. *Rolls eye* we're the cute couple who still to this day argue over the stupidest details. But really we're not arguing. I don't think our arguments have been heated for a long time. Usually we poke at each other or have serious discussions about the things that are bothering us.

    But Hubby makes it sound like we have a lot in common. As far as personality and morals, sure. But there are a lot of things that we don't have in common. I suppose I'll save it for next Thursdays post.

    As far as the man-hating. I'm not nor have I ever been man-hating. I'm opinionated and political if nothing else. The letters to the editor were dealing with equality. One was talking about a new law that would not allow women to be paid for egg donation while men could still be paid for sperm donation. I don't believe anyone should donate either, but the person's point was that women shouldn't be paid because the procedures are painful. The money is too enticing to poor women. I got real mad on that one because it was if the person was saying all poor women are stupid and don't understand risks. So no, I'm not a man-hating feminist. I'm a idiot-hating social equalizer. And as I told the guy, I'm poor but I'm not stupid. I can ask questions and read.

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  5. No we do it too. I like those kind of "arguments". They're fun. Much better than real ones like we've had a few of lately.

    That donating thing would have annoyed me too. :-/

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