Well, it's official...it's only a 5% chance of miscarriage. The gummy bear is fine. The doctor was able to find a strong heart beat very quickly. My quarky kid is a warrior especially with all the breastfeeding and morning sickness.
Speaking of morning sickness...it's slowly getting better. Only one nasty bout for a few hours yesterday. She gave me something else to try, but told me that things should be getting better as I approach the 2nd trimester. Then HB can come home with me and we can start functioning as a family again.
I'm a bit of a glass half empty person when it comes to having a full term baby. I was that way with HB. I had an acquaintance from church choir loose her baby in the last trimester because the chord got wrapped around it's neck. Sadly he died in utero. After that experience, I've learned not to get all gushy about having a baby. I view miscarriage as being a very real and very likely thing.
But I'm not all that leary of death. Yesterday, one of the staff at Hubby's school passed away from cancer. She had a clean bill of health and two months later cancer was found all over her body. You just don't know.
I also don't get real emotional about death either. It's going to happen to everyone. Yes, it's a bit shocking if you aren't prepared for it (ie the person was perfectly healthy). But I don't get to upset about the separation part of death because it's only for a short time and in the end I know that the person is okay. I suppose you could say that in certain circumstances I view death to be a blessing since I know that a very ill person is no longer suffering.
I understand that not everyone has such a sunny outlook on death. Maybe I'm just wired to be morbid, but then I think so is Hubby. If someone dies he's a little sad at first, but then he just let's it go. Some people struggle to let their loved ones go and end up in a cycle of depression.
Maybe I have the healthier perspective on death or maybe I'm in denial. But I know that if I lost baby #2 it would be difficult for a little while, but then I just keep on going and start to work on baby #3. Does that make me odd? I suppose not. I've heard that people tend to have a lot sex shortly after a loved one dies. Something about death makes us all what to bring more life to the world.