Tuesday, October 25, 2011

2 blog posts, one night

So here is my dilemma.  We asked some friends of Hubby's if they would like to be the godparents.  One of the pair is a Catholic and I was under the impression that the other was a Christian of sorts or like Hubby which as I explain to people who asked, baptized Catholic raised Baptist and currently confused.  I don't mind having a Christian witness.  It happens.  When I asked what I should fill in for the "religion" question on the baptismal info, I received the response "N/A" and basically told what that meant.  In other words, she's not really Christian. 

I was a bit shocked, but tried to be short and to the point about the situation.  You can't be a godparent if your not Catholic and you can't be a Christian witness if your not...a Christian.  I said it nicer than that (I hope).  I basically said that I could lie but I would seriously have to think about that.

I'm not big into lying.  My parents sort of lied about my brother's godparents.  They were both Baptists and technically you need at least one person to be Catholic.  My parents knew this about my own Baptism, but as they explained nobody asked if they were Catholic or not.  My brother's godparents are in the picture and are faithful Christians so they did well.  My godparents: well, I've met my godfather once.  He's now Episcopalian because he wanted a divorce.  My godmother is my aunt.  She's had a live in boyfriend for the longest.  Not exactly the saint-like behavior needed from a godparent.  So I don't really think of actually having godparents.  When I got confirmed, I chose someone else to be my sponsor.  Someone who was a faithful Catholic and very involved in the community.

Nobody asked specifically if Hubby was a Christian either.  The priest asked about his upbringing ie was he baptized.  So we told him the truth about that.  He never asked specifically if Hubby was a Christian in the sense that he believed.  Hubby is a Catholic by virtue of his baptism and has most of the privileges of any other Catholic if he so desires.  As far as I know, Hubby's friend has no ties to Catholicism outside her husband and their marriage.

But here's the stinky part of it all:  so these are Church rules about baptism.  And they make sense.  A godparent is supposed to be the spiritual guide for the child.  I have a funny feeling that Hubby's friend will not see it that way and will think I'm opposed to the Christian witness thing simply because she's not a Catholic.  We've had our run-ins before and I can see this being another occasion for one despite the fact that this is not really my decision.  I could lie, but that isn't fair to compel me to lie.  Nor is this about me really, it's about my son.

Having to get into a "fight" with a person because of something I don't really have any control over just stinks.  Hubby will probably tell me to lie.  But I really...really...really...can't.  So I think I will have to ask someone else to be the godmother.  Not looking forward to the next few conversations I'm going to be having.

1 comment:

  1. Honestly I don't see any reason to lie... Looked up the canon law thing on it to see the specifics and it says: A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community may be admitted only in company with a Catholic sponsor, and then simply as a witness to the baptism. So if they don't fit that, they don't fit that.

    To be honest though I do have an issue with choosing a non Catholic for a Godparent. I know of a case where the Catholic Godparent converted at a later point and essentially left the person w/ no Godparents. They're still family/involved but no religious support at all. At the same time it is hard choosing someone.


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