Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Room to be Different

This is the typical conversation around the dinner table.

Hubby:  We've got to get him to stop throwing food on the floor.
Me: Uh, huh.  *Watching as my child picks up his plate and deposits it on the splat mat below.*
Hubby:  You're ignoring me.
Me: We've been over this before and you're over-reacting.  It's normal for a toddler to throw their food on the floor.
Hubby:  So you don't plan on doing anything about it?
Me: Nope.  What's the point? 
Hubby:  It's going to become a habit.  We have to teach him to stop.
Me:  No it won't.  And the more you get upset about it the more he's going to do it to get your attention.  I mean.  Common.  How many five year olds do you know that throw their food on the floor?
Hubby:  And that's my point.  Someone taught them to stop.
Me:  Even five year olds who come from neglectful families stop throwing food on the floor.
Hubby:  Okay.  Fine.  You win again.  But I don't like it.
Me:  You never do.

Two days ago, insert throwing food on floor scenario with eating his food from the table without his hands.  Hubby used the same "it's going to become a habit" thing.

The funny part of all this is that I'm the conservative one.  My hair is down mid-back.  I'm a church goer.  I wear long skirts most every day.  My husband owns a shirt that says "Wink, and I'll do the rest" and another one that says "Trogdor"  I could keep going with the number of shirts he has like this.  I once had to make him put back a shirt that had a dinner plate and knife and fork with some pet animal on it.  It's his sense of humor.

So you would think that my husband wouldn't care that my son is showing typical child behavior, but I chalk up his lack of patience to a few things.

1) He's the neat freak.  My husband doesn't like constantly picking up food off the floor.  If he had his way, we'd have dinner outside or would feed HB himself.
2) My husband is a scientist.  While he expresses himself with his choice of apparel, his day job is much more meticulous and regimented.  Mine isn't.  And it never has been.  I'm a musician and a teacher.  I've learned well how to think on my feet.  Hubby gets flustered if things don't go according to plan.
3) Hubby is an only child.  He never did much baby sitting and when he did, he hated it.  I've got a younger brother and I feel that I've already raised a child before HB was even born.  I mean I've done everything: diapering, bathing, clothing, feeding, playing with, teaching..etc.  Watching my son decide to eat his cheerios without using his hands or a spoon isn't something new.

I try to be patient.  It just seems so weird that Hubby is so uptight about this.  But then I remind myself that a lot of new parents are uptight.  They learn to relax more when they have more children.  So I ignore my husband and encourage my child to be different and hope that my husband (as I'm sure a lot of new parents do) will learn to relax.  And we'll see that in the end, I'm right.  It's just a phase and he will outgrow it.

I also can remind him that he used to climb the kitchen table too.  I have a picture to prove it.  Special thanks to my MIL who at the time saw this as humorous, grabbed her camera, took a picture, and then deposited Hubby on the floor.  Now if I could only get Hubby to get that it's cute and funny, I'd be a happier wife.

1 comment:

  1. First off - cute pic!

    Now... *hugs* Wouldn't it be nice if parenting was easy? LOL Or at least everyone was always on the same page within a house. We have some issues here too. Mine wasn't an only child, but was raised very differently than how I want to raise our children (I can't say than me, because while there were big diffs I don't agree with mine either) and it makes for some friction. Not fun. Mostly it is getting better here though, hope it does for you too!


I love to read your thoughts. Thanks for sharing!