Riding home in the car on the way back from Mass discussing the upcoming Mass times for All Saints
Me: *peering at the bulletin's letter from the priest about funerals* So we need to talk about something. What kind of funeral would you like?
Hubby: I've got a long time to think about it.
Me: But what if you die tomorrow? What am I supposed to do?
Hubby: Throw me a giant party and tell people not to cry.
Me: *sarcastically* Yeah, that's totally going to work. Seriously, you can't make people not cry. So what kind of funeral do you want?
Hubby: I don't know. I really don't want one.
Me: Oh, that won't fly. Your family would be really pissed at me if I did nothing. You have to have something.
Hubby: *grumbling* fine
Me: You know that you could have a Catholic funeral because you were Baptized Catholic.
Hubby: How bout I just have a Jewish funeral. Aren't those more joyful parties?
Me: One problem. You don't go to a Temple. Now I would do that for you if you did, but since you don't I think it would be odd for me to go contact a Rabbi. I also don't think they are "joyful parties."
Hubby: *thinks a minute* I guess I could have a Catholic funeral, but I'm not really Catholic.
Me: You could have a Baptist funeral since that's what you were.
Hubby: No, I really don't want a Baptist funeral.
Hubby: Maybe I'll have a Muslim funeral.
Me: Again that would require you to attend a Muslim service, which you don't. And I'm not about to contact an Imam for a person who is not Muslim especially since I'm not a Muslim and you've never attended a service.
Hubby: You don't have to attend a service to be a Muslim do you? I thought you only had to say a prayer.
Me: Yes, that's true. *pause in conversation* The problem is that you don't plan on attending any of these services. But the one church services that you do attend happen to be Catholic. You could have a Catholic funeral.
Hubby: Oh, alright. Fine. I'll have a Catholic funeral. But can I be cremated?
Me: Yes, I can have you cremated if that's what you want.
A couple days later.
Hubby: So I want to be cremated. I'm going to assume you want a Catholic funeral.
Hubby: Do you want to be buried?
Me: No, cremated.
Hubby: Okay. What should I do for HB if you know you both die and I'm all that's left.
Me: Bury him.
Hubby: Bury him?
Me: Yep, give him a Catholic funeral and bury him.