Friday, November 18, 2011

Liar, Liar Your pants....

I'm sure I'm not the only one who resorts to the sin of lying.  We've all been in that situation where we try to make things better by exaggerating the truth.  Telling people that they look nice when really we mean they look nicer than they have in the past.

I've also had that occasional run in with a person at the store.  They ask you how you're doing and you simply say "fine" or "good" because you probably know that they aren't interested in the fact that your period is really heavy today, you've got to pee, or you've just spent the last hour cleaning up some major mess that your toddler created.  In other words, things aren't all that great or fine, but it could be a whole lot worse.

I've been known to fudge around it especially during pregnancy.  "How have you been feeling?"  My responses range from "Oh, you know..." to "As good as can be expected."  Some people really don't want to hear about your aches and pains or the difficulty it takes to wipe ones bottom after a trip to the toilet (yes, I did just mention something about poo and yes, you did just hear that part).  I mean do people really want to know all the gory details?  Surely this kind of white lie is better than being completely and brutally honest.

But I also lie about things that I have no desire to get into a confrontation about.  Like to the ob who I now have to see every week.  She asked me how my protein intake was and so I lied and said it was fine.  She asked me to chart it.  "Can you chart it for me?"  "Sure."  Did I, have I, will I?  Nope.  Call it being stubborn.  And the dozy of it all, how I'm feeling with giving birth there.  Do I have any apprehensions?  I lied and said that I was fine.  It's a lot nicer than to say that I think she's breathing down my neck too much and the fact that I think some of the stuff they say is a little out there.  The mid-wife had suggested taking a bath with Himalayan salt as opposed to dead sea salt because it's "better."  And then the ob told me to tell my infant that it was okay to come out and that we are all joyfully and excitedly anticipating seeing him.  Who am I fooling?  It's the freaking holidays and we're all tired and strung out from a difficult pregnancy.  My child has watched way too many Veggie Tales.  And my husband barely has time to wash dishes let alone scrub a toilet (which incidentally has turned orange because it's been a couple months.  yes, months.  any volunteers?)  We don't want the child to come out because we're joyful.  We know that once he's out it will be far from joyful.  We want him out so I can start on the path to normalcy.  Let's be real here.

So I guess I should add up all my lies of late and put it on my confessional list.  Eventually, I hope to feel repentant.  Right now I just feel pain.


  1. Hang in there. I go with "We're doing alright." when people ask and things are tough. I figure "alright" could mean that we're all still alive and in relative good health (but that totally just be me rationalizing!).


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