Tuesday, March 13, 2012

How A SAHM Gets To Vote: Part one

So today was mayoral elections in our fair city er um burrow.  I remembered it about 2 am this morning and made a mental note to let Hubby know that since I didn't get an early ballot I would need to go by a polling place.

So this morning Hubby wakes me at 7.  He declares that he is being lazy and is making plans to take a shower and board our fair city's (er um burrow's) inner city transit (ie the bus) which is free rather than putting petal to the pavement (ie bike into work).  I get up and the baby wakes up because he's refused to sleep for the past two days unless he fuses himself to my body and becomes an extra appendage.  Ordinary people call this collic.  I call this hell.  I slap on a new t-shirt and a skirt forgoing any clean undies or even a bra.

Anyways...I get up.  I am greeted with a smile from the couch where my two year old, still in his pjs, is slightly wet.  Apparently Hubby (who ordinarily feeds and changes my child so I can feed and change the other one and catch some sleep) didn't change him yet and he has milk on his pants because he knocked over his cereal.  Yay.

I change Knee and then attempt to wrestle said two year old into a clean clothes and a clean diaper as he's pooped.  Joyous.  Meanwhile Hubby comes out and informs me that he had every intention of changing HB and explains the cereal crisis happened while Hubby was going about his morning "business"  (do you really need a clear description?).  Hubby cleaned up the mess but searched high and low and couldn't find the bowl.  Fun.

In the meantime Knee poops (he's pooped all day long for some odd reason).  Hubby offers to change him as I manage to make myself breakfast while my two year old clings to me declaring that it is time for his morning boobie snack.  I manage to shake his demands off long enough to eat breakfast and then proceed to the couch while my youngest (for his own safety) is relegated to the bouncy seat.  I make mention of my need to vote to Hubby who asks when he needs to be home so this will happen.  He then leaves me alone with "the brain damaged people."  (I'm quoting Bill Cosby.) The bowl, I discovered, is on a dining room chair.

Thing go at a slow pace.  I decide not to do the dishes as my appendage is having trouble coping with not being an appendage.  My oldest is bored so naturally he tries to wrestle so I start him on an activity because inevitably he will figure out something to do from there.  I give him some magnetic letters and an egg carton and sort them by color.  At about 9 ish I go to change another poopy diaper from my appendage and get a phone call on my new phone.  I rush to get it.  We don't have caller id, but rather than screening my calls as usual I rush to get the phone.  It's Hubby.  I take the phone over the diaper changing table where my child is.  He can't get over the railing so don't worry.  He'd have to pole vault to hurt himself.  I relish that I can take the phone over there as my old one would immediately fuzz out after moving inches from the base.

Hubby spats out gibberish about a strike and voting and dinner.  My brain is still in a fog because of last night.  What?  Turns out the public trans had a strike (finally).  The drivers are tired of being forced to take overtime from our "fair" burrow.  He had to go by light rail which is run by the metropolis.  He asks me to pick him up after work or would I rather he travel by light rail (which costs money) again.  He suggests that if I pick him up we may go out to eat after voting.  Okay.  I agree to pick him up and out to eat.

At 9:30 we have snack.  HB downs half an orange and 2 and half slices of cheese.  I change the boys again and we scoot outside.  Today the landscapers are mowing the grass.  HB flits in and out of the bushes while the baby lays on the blanket until he squalls that I have failed him as a human host.  After about half an hour, I decide its hot and give HB a ten minute warning that we are going inside.  He hears the word "home" and decides that it is hot too.  He immediately takes off despite me calling him to help pick up his play things (and his brother).  He comes back briefly to confirm that I'm still around and then takes off for home.  I find him on our patio happy as can be and let him play there for ten minutes.

Afterwards I wrestle him to the sink to wash up while (for safety) the baby is again relegated to the swing.  Neither boy likes this idea.  Although I manage it.  I settle down for a minute or two for a break and then transfer the baby to his high chair while I prepare lunch.  HB gets a banana and peanut butter sandwich on my homemade bread, chips, and bobs and larrys (cucumbers and tomato with vinegar and sugar).  He hates the bobs and larrys (a recipe from my MIL) and eat some chips and the sandwich.  I scarf down whatever and I settle him down to watch a video before nap (the only time he's supposed to get any television).

I then place the baby in the bassinet (despite his exhaustion but refusal to sleep anywhere but as my appendage).  I pull out the vacuum and turn it on.  He "sleeps" in our room.  I then scoop up my two year old declaring that he can having boobie again and read him a book and sing to him while he both nurses and nods off.  I return to my room to discover my other child asleep.  He wrestles around while I look up where to vote and read a couple of blogs.  Then I give up and snuggle up next to him for an hour or so until my two year old wakes up.....

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