Friday, April 20, 2012

Why I married Hubby

My mind is swimming.  It has been the longest week of my life.  Most people who work away from home look forward to the weekend because it means spending time with their family.  I look forward to the weekend because I get to get away from my family.  But mostly I feel sorry for my boys.  HB needs more active stimulation and Knee, of course, can't help his terrible sleep issues.  In order for me to be better mom, I do need a break.  It's unreasonable to have a person try to console their infant constantly.  I mean don't they play recordings of crying babies to torture people?

Okay.  Blogging world.  What is up?  Why have I suddenly become popular in Russia?  Usually people in the states read.  But Russia?  And seriously, why are people all the sudden interested in my familial arguments?  Is it because they to are experiencing the hardships of married life or is it because it is fodder?  Mmm...

But I'm sure you must be curious.  Why did you marry your husband?  So I'll explain.

I actually proposed to my husband.  If you haven't heard.  So I chose him (although he accepted me so I suppose he chose me too).


Because he's family-oriented.  When I met him, he talked about his family a lot.  About how much he missed them.  How his goal is to move back in with his Mommy...nope just kidding.  He's not that kinda close.  He does however want to move back home.  In the general area.  Especially since all of his family is centrally located in Missouri.  Which is weird to me because my family is spread out across the country.  I recently got information that my grandmother's 1st cousins live a short trip from me.  But that's my family.  We traverse.


So I figured he's the family man type.  And he is.  He tells me the reason he's not big into doing chores is because when he gets home he wants to devote his time to being with his boys who he hasn't seen all day.  Which is completely understandable to me because they miss him during the day too.  Makes my job a little more difficult but on days like today my husband is prepping the boys to go run an errand so I won't loose my mind.  Because everything at the moment is setting me off.  I'm on edge.  It's sleep deprivation.  It's the torturous sounds of a wailing child.  So I'm calming myself by typing.

So my husband does care.  He can tell when things are getting dicey for me.  And he will pitch in.

The problem arises over other issues in our marriage.  Our family life is for the most part settled.  By default, I am the boss.  As Hubby explains, I'm at home all day so no matter what he wants to do I'll undo it.  So I call the shots when it comes to when the dishes get done (uh, never, well I wish they would magically do themselves at least) and things like that.

The turmoil is mostly how we deal with each other.  And it's not been ironed out yet.  And I don't imagine that it ever will.  We're different personalities.  Which is fine.  We have different interests.  Also fine.  We grew up differently.  He was surrounded by cousins and I had my younger brother who made a nice punching bag.  So naturally our expectations with each other are different.

Not to say our morals are different.  Neither person wants a divorce.  Ever.  Neither person plans on cheating.  We come home.  We don't party and dump the kids in someone else's lap.  Nope.

The friction lies in other things some mundane like for the Love of St. Peter why can't that man remember to turn off a light!  And other things which are serious but completely ridiculous like paternity testing, which after a long discussion about how hurtful the suggestion was was dropped.  We don't talk about it anymore.  (Okay, hardly ever.)  Or this morning's discussion about how I need to learn to be nicer in the morning instead of cantankerous. 

Most of the time we get along.  So far I would say that he and I have been doing well.  I'm not saying we don't touch a nerve, but in general it's been good.  Maybe it has something to do with him recognizing the early warning signs of a SAHM meltdown.  Who knows?

1 comment:

  1. I hate to say this, but hubby doesn't sound much different from other men I've known. I think I mentioned my grandma says the reason there are so many divorces is because women don't bake bread anymore. When she was mad at grandpa and kneaded the bread she used lots of force. She said by the time she was done, she felt much better. This was in the 50's and I think it will be the same forever.

    I'm not defending men's behavior - they just can't help being what they are:) - MEN

    Even though hubby is our son, I'm sending you a hug because I've been there with his dad!



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