Thursday, October 11, 2012

Dear Anonymous

Anonymous writes:

It seems your article is quite misguided. You say that Mr. Kay "... advocates spying on your spouse if they're cheating by recording their key strokes. Read it here. I have to pause right there. This is giving already abusive husbands more power." In your link that references his original article, Mr. Kay is clearly not addressing "abusive husbands" nor his intent is to give them more power, as you say, but on the contrary, he makes it quite clear that the use of those covert measures must only come behind a very GOOD CAUSE to use them? Sound familiar? Our justice system is built on the same premise, that search warrants, wiretapping etc are only permitted with good cause. In fact, Mr. Kay does clearly represent that the misuse of covert measures are actually detrimental to a healthy marriage. Your blog is quite irresponsible and clearly mischaracterizes Kay's intent.
 My post is a post actually.  It isn't an article because this is a blog not an online magazine or journal.

Furthermore, this is a personal blog and not one of a professional nature.  I'm giving my opinion.  No one is paying me to do so.  I had no idea when I wrote the post that anyone would actually read it besides the few people who normally read my posts.  You are mischaracterizing me.

Did I say Mr. Kay was addressing abusive husbands?  Nope.  And I'm sure that he thinks his words are for a good cause.  But for starters Mr. Kay isn't with the justice system or law enforcement.  He also doesn't make it his career to catch cheaters as some people do.  And those who do catch cheaters do so following the law.  As far as I know they don't use spy ware, which to my knowledge is illegal for a private eye to use.  They simply follow the person and photograph them, which is legal.

What I was saying or at least this is my thought train...people go to Mr. Kay's blog thinking (whether legitimately or not) that their spouse is having an affair, or that their marriage is rocky or something else like that.  This includes paranoid and abusive men.  Instead of reading that they should talk to their spouse or seek counseling, they are told that if they think (again in their minds which doesn't need any amount of proof) that their spouse is cheating that they should use spy ware.

I plan on writing a post at some point also talking about why using spy ware and gps traking software is like treating your spouse like a teenager.  But I haven't got a chance to do that at the moment. 

Furthermore, how is my blog irresponsible?  Unlike Mr. Kay's blog, I'm not asking people for money.  I'm not selling a book.  I offer no advice in the realm of marriage.  This is a mommy blog afterall.  All I am simply doing is reviewing his ideas and saying buyer beware.  Again, explain how having a different opinion and considering some of his ideas to be dangerous ones equals being irresponsible?

And perhaps I am mischaraterizing Mr. Kay.  I have given him ample opportunity to defend himself.  To answer some questions as to how he arrived at the ideas he promotes.  He doesn't take me seriously.  He refuses to do so openly.  You are more than welcome to encourage him to take me up on that offer.  It still stands.

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