One fateful night I asked my husband what his definition of lust was. Or more importantly what the difference between love and lust was. Can a person have lust within the confines of a marriage? Yes, he said. But he said he thought that was okay.
He's never tackled the subject before and he's not the only one.
I've had to tackle it myself. Obviously ogling at another man is lust. An affair is lust. But what exactly is lust and how do I avoid it? Can you have lust with your spouse and what does that look like?
According to the CCC:
2351- Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.
So yes, you can have lust within the confines of a marriage. If you seek only the pleasure aspect of sex, it's lust.
And that's what a lot of artificial birth control users don't get. I see it often posted, as I'm sure you do, that NFP is fine you but not fine for me. And why do you care?
All Christians, not just Catholic ones, should figure out exactly what lust is. And once they figure that out then they should realize having a contraceptive mentality is lust. When a person desires the pleasurable aspects of sex, but have no desire to either bond or procreate then there is a problem
Not to say that you may wish a child in every act, but that you leave that aspect up to the Creator. And trust in His wisdom whether it's appropriate to avoid pregnancy using the fertility cycle He put in place. Because let's be honest, if God wanted women to be fertile all the time, He could have.
Why should we care? Because it's our responsibility to speak the truth and to correct our brothers and sisters with love. What they do from there is their on their own conscience. If they learn that it's lustful and still do it anyway, we cannot force them to stop.
I love Penn Jillette. He received a Bible from a lady after one of his shows. Since he's an atheist, many of his friends where dumbfounded that he was so gracious and accepted it.
He responded that as a Christian if you truly believe that you love a person and desire to save their soul then you should be handing out Bibles. Otherwise your silence is telling. So he wants Christians to show their love of him by evangelizing.
Did I mention that he's an atheist?
In this same manner, it's our duty to talk about subjects like gay sex, gay marriage, co-habitation, birth control, abortion, euthanasia, etc etc. To do otherwise is not loving our neighbor. And that's what the New Evangelization is all about.
So bring it on. Let's have these frank discussions about NFP and birth control. Let's talk about it and square it where it belongs: within the confines of what's love and lust.