Sunday, January 20, 2013

No Turning Back


We started Potty training HB more heavy duty than before.

It all started Thursday when I had a chat with his teacher who said that HB stubbornly refuses to use the potty for her (surprise, surprise).  I told her that he tells me when he has a bowel movement and that sort of thing.

And that's when she said something that made sense to me "Don't give him the option to say no.  You can offer to help him or let him use the toilet on his own, but don't give him the option to not use it."

You see in all my time potty training I basically worked alongside parents.  In my mind I wished for the ideal child like from the daycare.  One who would enjoy feeling big and use the toilet or one that I could convince.  But nope my very bodily aware child refuses to use the potty.

So I did a little thinking...looking stuff up on the internet...and deciding to stop acting like a total woos about it.  My fear springs from an experience in childhood where I watched my uncle "spank" (I would say it was more abusive than that) and yell at my younger cousin to use the toilet before going to bed.  It horrified me.  And I wasn't that old.

And knowing that pushing a kid too hard to can lead to UTIs and constipation.  I've been going under the assumption of erring on the side of caution and letting my cute preschooler take the lead.

But no more.  I don't have to be mean about it.  I can be as matter of fact about it being a necessary part of life.  And I can make it not optional.

So I Friday I worked on him using some training underwear and learning how to (with much assistance) pull up and down his underwear.  He really enjoyed the accomplishment.  And that night I tackled my neat freak husband.

My husband hates mess.  He did say that this in the long run was better and that as a united front for the weekend HB would learn to the use the potty.

Day 1:  Saturday we went bottoms free.  The weather has warmed up (my child is forever cold).  If I left in him the trainers he'd treat them like the cloth diapers he's used to wearing and simply pee in them.  We made him use the toilet (or sit on it for five minutes) every 1/2 hr and when he woke up or before going to sleep.  He peed a lot.  But often we'd catching him and tell him to go sit down.

Day 2:  Today, it was poop-tastic.  Having not pooped the day before he told me that he needed to go.  He pooed a little in the pot, but then after that is when the poo hit the floor literally.  What I've noticed is, when he's about to go he comes and tells someone instead of heading toward the pot.  Which means he never quite makes it even though the thought process is clearly there.

We only had him sit every 45 minutes.

But progress has been made.  This evening his father brought him a paper diaper (standard disposable) to use at night (because he still floods when he's somewhat awake).  "No...no diaper."  He told his dad.  He's decided big boys use potties like their parents and friends.  He has been going when we go too which helps when he's being obstinate about sitting.

Don't worry cloth is fine for him.  It's his special underwear/diaper for night only.

Tomorrow is the end of the three day fest in which they are supposed to have learned.  We'll see.  We move up the clock to an hour.  And my goal is to convince him that instead of telling me he has to go that he should go himself.  That or keep the potty right next to me so he gets the point.

As for school, people recommend going pants free for 3 months or until it's obvious they won't pee in cloth.  They suggest when going out and about using only pants (I suppose because it's easier).  I think for the school's sake we'll use his trainers on Tuesday, but if his teacher is okay with it we'll load them down with easy to pull down pants.

As his teacher said, we just have to go for it and that there's no turning back.

I'm hoping at this rate he'll be using the potty regularly (with more hits than misses) in a couple of weeks.  Just in time for his third birthday party.  Fingers crossed.

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