Saturday, February 9, 2013

The Big and Not Easy Decision

First off, Happy Chinese (South East Asian) New Year!  I got to celebrate it today with some South Korean friends.  :)

But now for the not so easy yet big decision.  Before we even moved, we had been talking on and off about the cats.  After the move, I assumed that we would be able to have enough space for all.

But...lately my older cat, Shade, has not been using the litter box.  I managed in the past to correct this problem only to have it resurface.  I finally gave up.  Our bedroom smells like a cat's toilet.  This is not healthy.

We also have very little space and it's making it most difficult to potty train and get our oldest accustomed to using the toilet in the bathroom.  The cats would hide out in our room.  And our bedroom isn't baby proofed.  The other bathroom was better for their box, but we had to limit access to it since our youngest doesn't understand that a litter box isn't a sand pit.  So there weren't any easy to access toilets.

It was not easy.  I had been the hold out, but for the betterment of the cats and ourselves, it was time.  So we looked into shelters.  The No Kill shelters basically said that Shade, because of her litter issues, would not be accepted.  This meant that unfortunately, we had to take her and Starbuck to the humane society to be evaluated.   If they seem adoptable, they will be transferred to the adoption floor where they will remain.  If not, then they are euthanized. 

While I can be logical about it, they still were our pets and it was hard.  We cried.  Even though we knew Shade wasn't adjusting well.  We cried even though we knew we didn't really have the space.  It was hard because HB understood somewhat what was going on.  And Knee has been saying "cat."  But it was harder on us adults because we knew our responsibility to our animals and we felt like we were failing them.

I hope for the best for them.  I hope that they are adopted, but we'll never know.  In the long run, it's for the best even though we feel raw about it.

Maybe it would have been easier if say one of them bit or scratched the kids regularly.  We had a friend put down his dog because the dog bit his child.  Or if our children were allergic to cats.  No.  The reason is because it's becoming unsanitary and I believe we are stressing them out (and ourselves) by putting two cats and four people in a 1,000 square foot home.  And yes, I realize 1,000 square feet was the norm in the 1950s, but so was a yard and a shed (and a barn in some cases).  We don't have any storage space.  We don't have a yard.  Our "play ground" is used a litter box by feral cats or other people's cats who let them roam outside.  

I just hope nobody turns this into some giant political agenda thing about how we're not being humane to our pets and how can we say we're pro-life if we essentially took our cats somewhere to be killed.  The Bible says humans have dominion over animals.  We have the right to neuter/spay and to yes, euthanize.  We don't have that right over other humans.

I'm trying not to focus so much on the fact that their gone, but more on moving on.  Just as if a person died, I'm trying to continue on with life while acknowledging that they are no longer in ours and that it hurts.  I'm sure the pain will fade and that we'll be happier with extra space.  And maybe eventually we'll adopt someone else's pet.  Maybe it will be a well loved cat who the person gave up because they could no longer adequately care for it and we will be in a position to.  Who knows.

St. Francis' Canticle of the Sun

Most high, all powerful, all good Lord!
All praise is yours, all glory, all honor, and all blessing.
To you, alone, Most High, do they belong.
No mortal lips are worthy to pronounce your name.
Be praised, my Lord, through all your creatures,
especially through my lord Brother Sun,
who brings the day; and you give light through him.
And he is beautiful and radiant in all his splendor!
Of you, Most High, he bears the likeness.
Be praised, my Lord, through Sister Moon and the stars;
in the heavens you have made them bright, precious and beautiful.
Be praised, my Lord, through Brothers Wind and Air,
and clouds and storms, and all the weather,
through which you give your creatures sustenance.
Be praised, My Lord, through Sister Water;
she is very useful, and humble, and precious, and pure.
Be praised, my Lord, through Brother Fire,
through whom you brighten the night.
He is beautiful and cheerful, and powerful and strong.
Be praised, my Lord, through our sister Mother Earth,
who feeds us and rules us,
and produces various fruits with colored flowers and herbs.
Be praised, my Lord, through those who forgive for love of you;
through those who endure sickness and trial.
Happy those who endure in peace,
for by you, Most High, they will be crowned.
Be praised, my Lord, through our Sister Bodily Death,
from whose embrace no living person can escape.
Woe to those who die in mortal sin!
Happy those she finds doing your most holy will.
The second death can do no harm to them.
Praise and bless my Lord, and give thanks,
and serve him with great humility.

1 comment:

  1. Aw that's still sad though for you all. Sometimes, painful as it is, you just gotta do what works.


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