Friday, November 1, 2013

Broken (part two)

Read Part One Here.

5) It doesn't help that I've never lived in the cold, wet climate.  I'm having to learn how to dress myself.  I get wet and slightly chilly.  I don't understand things like "lake effect snows".  It's snowed here.  Nothing stuck yet.  It's been below freezing. 

We've had to go psycho looking for winter wear.  My husband and I have lived in the desert 11 and 10 years respectively.  My children were born there.  So they've never had snow suits.  And my husband and I weeded out heavy duty winter clothing ages ago.  What we do have is minimal and very old.  My husband wore a sweater to work today.

Me:  Oh, Honey.  Your sweater.  *indicating thread bare sections where you can see skin
Hubby:  Didn't you just buy this?
Me:  No, you've had that old thing for years.
Hubby: You sure.
Me:  Yeah.  It's been hanging in your closet since I've met you.  (I know because I've always thought it was hideous so I'm glad there's now a reason to throw it out).

As a result I've had to go shopping more frequently than I'd like and research just how you dress in this climate to stay both warm and dry.  My husband has had to get higher quality stuff because his job requires him to be outdoors.  Naturally we had to lay down a lot of cash for his stuff.  It's killing the budget. 

I did find a nice down coat that goes to my shins for 15 dollars.  Will have to show that to you later when I feel perkier along with the completion of the home tour and all the freebies I've scored through Kijiji, which is like Craig's List but only more popular in Canada.  It feel like small comforts from God.  Like I see a problem, let me help fix it.

I still need to scour a bit.  I'm hoping to find water-proof gloves for the boys and maybe a better coat for Knee.  Also maybe some wool sweaters or skirts *cue cringing*.  I can't wear wool directly on my skin.  No matter what the tags say, it still makes me itch.  I'm not allergic in that I break out or can't touch it, but after a while I go insane if it's unlined.  And yes, I did spend 8 years in a wool marching band uniform.  I still can't stand wool.

6) In addition to that, I had to buy new glasses.  My soon-to-be two year old grabbed my old ones off my face, refused to return them, and then bent them until they broke.  I wasn't entirely heart broken as a)I've had those frames for about 5 years, they were wearing out and b)I had a prescription change, it was slight but still.  I just wish they had broken another month.  Like December or something.  Because replacing them isn't cheap.  I have bad eyesight and I need sturdy glasses that will resist children.

7) And while having a lovely chat with some friends over Skype back in the States, my husband's iPad took a tumble and the glass broke.  He took it to an apple store to see if they would fix it but was than referred to another store that specializes in that sort of thing.  Let's just say it cost a bit to replace the glass, but it cost less than to get new glasses.

The up-side is my friends live in Florida and somehow acquired a lot of winter stuff.  She's sending it to me in the mail.  So that will be nice.

8) Point is the budget had to do some bending this month.  Things keep breaking and on the inside I feel a bit worn down and broken too.

Jen Fulwiler had a post a while back talking about how you need to spend time on something that keeps you going and focus less on other things.  Her rejuvenating thing is writing.  It took a bit of soul searching but I figured it out.  I need social connections, extra-curriculars if you will.  I've always had something piano, band, marching band, orchestra, SAI, church choir, etc. etc.  Now I'm a part of nothing.  I go to play groups.  That's my only outside connection.  Most of the time I monitor what my kids are doing not really able to interact much.  And it's killing me.

I sobbed to my husband that I needed something.  My son is about to be 4.  We've lived in three different places throughout his life.  That's an average of 1.5 years in a place.  Making connections has been the roughest part and I've come to realize that that's what's killing me most: the isolation.  My husband said "Do what you need to do."  I guess he's realized that it's depressing, the situation we're in, and I need an anchor or I will drown.  My husband isn't feeling better himself.  He desperately wants to move home and take a job doing anything after this one because he's tired of moving too.  He's running out of steam.  We're broken.

So if I'm not blogging much it's because I'm trying to invest more in my sanity and make real-live connections to people.  I still keep up with you a bit, but I have to get out of my house.  I need to join a club or something.  I'm starved for human interaction and need to unburden myself on someone other than my husband.  I need to glue back the shards and try to make something of our fragile family.  I'm sure you can understand.

If you really want to understand the beginning of this mess, read here, here, and here.  Oh, and so far nobody has come to get the water heater.  I have no idea what happened with that. 

1 comment:

  1. Oh Laura, I'm so sorry. :( Praying for you, and sending you a virtual hug.

    ReplyDelete

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