I have a new friend. And we couldn't be more different.
She smokes. I don't.
She's young. I'm not.
I dress like a matron. She dyes her hair purple.
She is unmarried with one child. I'm married with two.
She doesn't have a college degree. I do and a teaching license (or did) and went to grad school.
I'm pretty sure she's spiritual if anything. And I'm a nut of a Catholic. (and darn, proud of it)
She's Canadian and I'm not.
Do I judge my friend? Darn, right. But not in the way people think. Most people would say, "why judge her actions? Are you trying to start a "mom war? Do you think you're better?" No. I judge her actions because I love my friend.
See, if I didn't love my friend. I could just throw my hands up in the air and say to myself "why should I care? It isn't my concern and doesn't affect me." But I do love my friend.
I love her so much that it pains me to think that when she's 60 she may end up hooked up to oxygen machines fighting to live, to breath. She could be fighting lung cancer, throat cancer, emphysema, and other hosts of illnesses.
I love her so much that I want better for her. I can see the hidden scars, the ones on a person's soul, have changed her. She's tough and yet, naive.
But no, it would be too judg-y of me, says the world, to want something better for her. No, it's better to leave her alone and never say a word. But I love my friend too much. So I'm going to say things in the most charitable ways, when it's needed.