Thursday, June 19, 2014

My Two Friends

I had two friends who spent a large chunk of their lives without their biological parent.  My first one was in highschool.  His father died when he was 10.  He never got over it.  Not even when his mother remarried. 

My other friend I met in college.  His mother died from cancer when he was 12.  His father didn't remarry until my friend was a college grad.  My friend was especially close to his three older siblings. 

The thing is I don't understand why anyone would deliberately keep a child from their biological parent.

The reason that tipped the tide for me from a "separate civil from religion" marriage thing was the fact that whether you are gay or straight giving the person the right to keep a child from their bio parent is so devastating.  It's also opening a child to abuse since most child abuse involves someone the child knows but has no biological relation to.

I get that people want children and are loving and all that.  But the fact that their biological father is donor X114 or something isn't right.  Governments aren't disclosing biological dads out of privacy.  So now hundreds of children have no knowledge of their other parent.

It's not about the feelings of the parent.  It's about what's best for a child.  Just ask my friends if they think they're step-parents replaced or repaired their need to have a relationship with their bio parent.  They will tell you that it doesn't.

Yet it's okay to just create a child who from the beginning will never know their biological father.

Children are just things.  We can buy them and raise them and love them because we want them.  Or so it seems.

Let me tell you.  As a biological parent, children are not things.  I knew going into my marriage that having a child may never happen.  And I got used to that because it's not about me.  It's about them.  Children are miracles.  Really.  But society glosses over that.  We try to control their creation and it just keeps flying in our faces.

Marriage is about children.  So what is gay marriage?  And why should the government care about your bedroom?

If you think governments don't care about children or consummation, than I guess you haven't filled out too many immigration papers.  It's always, always, always about children.

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