Thursday, November 20, 2014

The problem with the teachers

When I was five, my dad went into a parent-teacher conference.  The teacher expressed concerns that instead of playing with the toys during free play, I would park my butt in the book nook and read.  My dad was flabbergasted.  A teacher concerned about a child's interest in books?  He looked around the room and noticed that on the chore chart boys were assigned to take out trash and girls to pick up.  He essentially said she was sexist based on the chart.  She never bothered him again.

I'm not autistic.  I get social cues.  I'm just odd.  And as a result ran into difficulty with many elementary school teachers.  It was bad since I'm an auditory/kinesthetic learner.  So I read everything outloud to myself.  And teachers expect you to be quiet all the time.  I also sat on my feet and ate mayo sandwiches.

Guess who else eats mayo sandwiches?  And according to his teachers has no friends.

Yep.  HB's teachers have repeatedly said that he has no friends.  But I know this isn't true.  One of his friends is C, a girl in his class.  She's actually only a couple of weeks older than HB.

I know she's his friend because she lives further down the street and we're usually running into her on the walks to and from school.  And if we get behind her, HB asks to catch up with her.

I know she's his friend because at the first snow HB specially called out to her and to tell her that even the table outside had snow on it.  Then he proceeded to make a snow angel next to hers.  They also race up and down the playground.

So you can imagine why I'm very leery of the autism diagnosis.  Especially since I know his teachers' claims aren't true.  I would be more open to it if I thought they were being honest.  I would be more receptive too if my husband also didn't find it all so head scratching.  HB doesn't have imaginative play?  That's news to us.  My husband remarked that he stuck a box on his head and walked around pretending to be a robot.  HB conversations are normal.  He can read facial expressions.

Yes, there is other peculiar traits that he has.  But is it autism or something else?  The tantrums he has are like autistic ones but also like psychological ones, ones you find in different disruptive behavior disorders where he is defiant of authority (and he does take things) or mood disorders, which are hereditary (and since that runs on both sides of his family tree does not surprise me at all).  Unlike a person with autism, HB doesn't like to be separated during the tantrum.  He can actually express specifically what's bothering him "I can't find my cardboard."  And once it's resolved; it's resolved.  He also gets moody, for lack of a better explanation.  And he likes to be hugged and touched.  Although less so than some children.  I find sometimes he just needs a few minutes of slowing down and snuggling before he can move onto the next thing.  I don't think the pedi has taken that off the table yet either, but he's basing his theory largely on what the teacher's say and I'm thinking it's taking us off course.  If you ask me, I think we should be looking into more of a mood disorder not autism, but then again everyone else thinks they have the answer.

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