Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Head Meet Desk

I did everything on earth to possible prepare them.  I tried calling the school this summer to get HB registered.  As soon as registration was set, I gave them every shred of paper work I have about his autism and his former school.  I sent an e-mail to both the substitute teacher and what was supposed to be his teacher this fall to let them know that "hey, he's autistic and you're in for a bumpy ride.  here's my advice."  I scheduled a meeting which included the special ed teacher, the on-staff psychologist, the substitute, his official new school teacher (long story and one I'm frowny about), the speech therapist, and the principal.  Everybody knew.  Everybody was warned.  And everybody told me that they could "handle it."

As my husband said, "You can see the war off in the distance.  You try to warn them that there's a war coming.  They say 'oh, no worries.' As the war inches closer you warn them again and they say 'oh, yeah.  we see it.  it's fine.' It isn't until the war creeps up on you that they actually start doing something."

You see HB is brilliant.  In fact he's so brilliant that Hubby and I have considered pulling him from school and homeschooling him because he could probably start working on 1st grade work.  And he's in kindergarten.  Because he's so brilliant and has no learning issues, he has no IEP or anything that would make him qualify for special education.  He's treated like everyone else who has a disability.  You got a wheel-chair, no problem, we'll build you a ramp.  But HB has social issues and emotional regulation issues.  He needs to be in school so he can learn something that's not academic: how to deal with other people.  And he's failing.  Despite the fact that he's made two friends and to the powers that be that seemed promising, he's still failing and his autism is getting the better of him.

This past week he has been put in time out multiple times and lost several privileges.  It's so bad that today the principal called to say that for now they are pulling him out recess.  He hit another child with a rock today amongst all the aggression is had on the playground.  He's also started doing disruptive stimming (repetitive movements, vocalizations, or verbals).  In his case he's been singing snippets loudly, doing sound affects, and spinning.

It's not like I didn't warn them.  I told them that he could be both aggressive and unable to stop himself.

Yesterday, the Occupation Therapist for the district called me.  "I'm bringing my toys and going to act as a consult in his classroom.  I can't bring him out of the room because he has no IEP (in other words he's not disabled enough) so I'm going to work with him in the classroom.  I'll figure out a way to help him get past this."  Well, at least someone is getting what I've been saying.  I just wish they would have had better plans in place from the start instead of waiting until he got into so much trouble.

I wished that they had listened to us in the first place.  Perhaps they thought that I was exaggerating especially since his previous school's report spoke so glowingly of him, which is somewhat accurate.*  But they didn't.  So here we are.  Meetings, phone calls, e-mails.  And waiting for assistance which he needs to function in social situations.

I'm so frustrated.

*HB's behavior reminds me of this childhood poem:
There once was a girl with a curl in the middle of her forehead,
And when she was good, she was very very good
And when she was bad, she was horrid 
HB behaves the way he does anytime there is change and he's had several changes recently.  He's had a substitute and then last week they split his class in two and moved him into a room with a different teacher, who then was out for two days.  :(  It doesn't happen over night either.  He's a slow burn.  At first it seems manageable until it isn't.  And then once he's calmed down he's fine almost like a different child.  I know the autism community probably hates me for saying this but, autism is not always a blessing and can down right suck.  It's basically rendered my child such that he has the worse time controlling his emotions constructively and thus he gets aggressive and destructive.  Hopefully he won't always be this way, but unfortunately for some autistic people this is their life and they have to be institutionalized because nobody can deal with the aggression.  

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