Wednesday, September 7, 2016

The Measure of Success

My husband's mission is set to launch tomorrow.  If you have a moment, would you offer a prayer for him.  He's super stressed about it because if the thing crashes on the pad like Space X did last week, he looses his job.  And as the bread winner, he's stressed.

If on the other hand it's successful, we can proceed to buying a house.  And last night my husband called me all flustered after having spoken to friends about buying said house in our school district.  As friends often do, sometimes in their efforts to help they often make matters worse.

Our school is fine.  It's the upper grades 7-12 that are the problem.  Academically they fair poorer.  And one of his friends was warning him because several years ago she was an attendee of said school.  She's doing well for herself probably because she was self-motivated.  Understandably she's concerned about the boys education.

And this coupled with his bosses fair warnings got my husband into a tizzy from which I had to take him out of the rafters.  What are spouses for if not patiently calming each other down.

I reminded him that there are charter schools in the area.  Charter schools are public schools that are run by private entities rather than the government.  My husband was concerned that because of HB's disability they wouldn't accept him.  As I explained to him, that would be illegal.  The most they could do is say that academically he didn't pass whatever test muster they have.  This would be ridiculous because HB doesn't have a problem academically.  His disability affects his whole life but he finds academics easy.  So easy that he get bored in class and starts stemming to the point of interrupting the teacher's instruction.  But that's another post.

I thought about this later but I have a friend who lives in state and I believe that her autistic daughter attends a charter school.  Different city but as I said it's illegal to not admit a child based on disability.

Then as I pointed out I've already met with the Sister whose a principal of a parochial school run by an order of sisters.  She basically told me that accepting him into their school would not bother her in the least.  They do have students just like him.  My husband got a little nervous but I reminded him that there are scholarships for children with disabilities.

Then he fretted about Knee, who doesn't have a disability.  I reminded him that they may end up in separate schools anyway because they have separate interests.  No point in fretting over that because when the time comes, I think the children should have a say in what school they attend.

"But we should look at the worst case scenario.  What happens if they don't get into a school?  The public schools aren't that great."

"Do you know what the back up plan would be?  Me."


"Yes.  By that point HB will be 12.  He can stay home and go to school online.  It's going to be okay."

We also got into a lovely discussion about all the therapists and avenues he has for assistance because the school's child psychologist last year was awful at her job.

My husband's distress boils down to wanting the best education for his children and having a good footing.  While that's every parents ideal, it's just not realistic.  My husband and I have actually discussed this before.  We grew up the generation of "get the degree. get the job."  And now the market is flooded with people who have a degree and no job.  It's a lie.

It's also the same if your dream is to send your child to Stanford.  It should be there for those who qualify otherwise again going to Stanford wouldn't mean much.

Plus what is the measure of success.  Money?  Career?  No.  Not any of those things.  People think I've wasted my degree and am a totally unsuccessful leech.  I mean paper work wise I haven't had a job for 7 years and I don't have any income.  But does that mean I am less successful?

As I told my husband our job is to help our children reach the potential God sets out for them whatever that may be.  And help them figure out what that is.  That is the true measure of success.

My parents had dreams for me that were crushed, but that was not what God planned for me.  It does no one good to project onto their children because it may the wrong plan.  Parents are to teach discernment and encourage the child to follow their vocation and whatever education path that may support.

I think my husband just needed to be reminded that his friends grew up with the lies about success and education.  The reality is something altogether different.

Serve God not Mammon.


I love to read your thoughts. Thanks for sharing!